(Sheldon) Cooper Theory
by AbiG2015
Summary: Sheldon resolves to studying and solving String Theory, but in his attempt Sheldon refuses to sleep, eat or bathe. Leonard and Penny begin to worry about their friend's health and attempt to force him to take a break. Sheldon comes to an interesting hypothesis that baffles even himself.


Kelley 9

Abigail Kelley

Mr. Denton

CP English 10

18 September 2012

Sheldon Cooper Theory

In a Pasadena apartment early in the morning, Dr. Sheldon Cooper paced back and forth pondering the string theory yet again. The tall, scrawny, yet intelligent looking man (not unlike the kind you could tell got beat up and picked on in high school) contemplated the writing on the white board in his living room, his frustration quickly becoming evident with every step.

_If I am able to answer this question, I can finally prove to my mother that there is no 'God'. The problem is anytime I get close to an explanation, one more problem seems to pop up invading the solution, or some disruption occurs, tearing apart my concentration and forcing me to start over._ This being one of the very disturbances he had been just thinking about dissolved the thought generating in his mind mere moments ago.

Upon entering the room, his roommate said, "It's time to take a break, Sheldon. It's been three days; you need to stop to eat sometime. What would your Mema think" After receiving merely a glare, Leonard, Sheldon's shorter more socially rounded roommate, responded with the only weapon in his arsenal; "Sheldon, even though you're excruciatingly annoying, you are my friend. Therefore I am giving you this only warning; if you do not take a break I will be forced-"

Sheldon tuned out whatever hokum Leonard had been spouting. This small interference had cost too much time and too much concentration. The first to finally solve one of the world's biggest scientific questions must be the one and only Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

But how would it even be possible, there are too many variables to be explained. _These enigmas are too circuitous. Everything has an explanation, explanations I will find an answer to and finally get the recognition I have long deserved._

"Hello Penny," Leonard addressed their attractive, tall, blond, friend and neighbor, who had just walked through the door with a proposition for Leonard.

"Yes, hello Penny, thank you for coming into our home at this particular moment in time. One that Leonard deems inferior to food, and sleep. Although I am not an expert in human relations, I do believe silence is courteous when one is in deep concentration." Receiving blank stares from the other occupants of the room, he offered, "The comment _was_ meant for you Leonard, seeing as Penny did not know the seriousness of my predicament, and you did. Now if you don't mind I'd really rather get back to the questions actually giving my occupation meaning at our mediocre 'University'." Sheldon returned to his work although now he could not tune out the noise going on behind him.

"I'm gonna go ahead and guess he's talking about some magic science-y thing, right?"

"Science yes, but there is no magic to it. Magic is in World of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons, and Skyrim. As much as we all wish it was, it simply is not reality. Science _is _reality, we live it every day. Now if you wouldn't mind…" Sheldon's sentence trailed off as he returned to his work.

Looking behind her obnoxious neighbor, Sheldon, Penny saw the illustrations for the equation was working on. "Oh! Are you working on your big explosion thing-a-ma-jig? I heard this one joke—"

"The Big Bang Theory!" Sheldon interrupted. "And this is no laughing matter. The question has stumped the greatest minds on the planet Earth for years." Now speaking more to himself than Penny he then said, "No doubt I would be given the Nobel Prize if I were to solve it. Now Penny," he returned to her, "what was the reason behind your appearance tonight?"

A bit timidly she replied "I actually needed to ask Leonard a question." If looks could kill, all of Pasadena would have been wiped out with the look he had given her and her accomplice.

With mild confusion Penny inquired "Wait, wasn't the Big Bang just a myth someone made up to get attention."

"Penny, the Big Bang _did_ happen." retorted Sheldon condescendingly. "Dark matter and energy combined, causing the expansion of our planetary system, contrary to popular belief of an incalculable cosmic outburst forming brobdingnagian planetoids, which later reduced to their current size withdeveloped atmospheres. I guess rudimentary astrophysics isn't instructed where the 'Corn Cob Queen' reigns."

"Okay Sheldon, I don't understand what you just said, but the tone you used was more than slightly rude. So this is what is going to happen, Leonard," Penny then turned to the other man who, up until now, had a grin not so different from a little boy opening a Christmas present, "you are going to tell me what he just said. And Sheldon, I'd apologize now if it was mean." Penny spoke in a matter-of-fact tone of voice laced with surprise at her own bluntness.

Neither man did any different than what was just spoken, and not a minute passed before Sheldon had once again tuned out the rest of the noise in the room.

"How long has he been at this?" Penny inquired, noting Sheldon's typical Thursday attire, unshaven face, and the large bags beneath his eyes. "I thought I saw him staring at the board last Thursday only there was a lot less on it. Is it the same thing?"

Leonard nodded in response. "He thinks he is going to be the first to solve it. We just don't have the technology created to collect the data he requires. In ten years, he might be able to solve it but not right now." _Honestly he may not even solve it then. But if I tell him that, he'll never come out of this phase._ "I guess we better go talk out in the hall then." Leonard proposed gesturing with his head towards Sheldon to show her his aggravation.

"He's just been staring at the whiteboard?"

"Yeah, I was trying to get him to take a break just a few minutes ago. I think he's finally lost it."

"What are you going to do?" she asked. Thinking about how greasy his hair was, Penny guessed it had been a few days since he'd had a shower too. "Has he eaten, I mean it looks like he definitely needs a bath, but what about sleep do you know?"

"Not for three days, today was the first day he acknowledged me actually. I called Mary, his mom," he replied quite confident in his solution.

"That should work." She hadn't phrased it like a question but Leonard nodded anyway, hoping he was right.

The rest of the day had continued much the same as it had before the first interruption made by Leonard earlier that morning. That is, until a knock sounded on the door.

Still concentrating on his current dilemma Sheldon answered, "Come on in, just, stay silent until I'm ready." Assuming this was just Raj, or Howard looking for Leonard, Sheldon prepared for a quick mind break jotting down his current thought on the board, so as not to break the current train, moving five-hundred miles an hour.

"Are you done writin' down your thoughts, 'cause that was not a proper greetin' Shelly."

_Oh no._ Oh yes, indeed it was. Leonard walked in the room in time to witness his roommate turn around to return the inevitable hug he knew was bound to occur.

Mortified, Sheldon inquired, "Mother, what are you doing here?" Train of Thought having left the station at the sound of her voice, he now concentrated solely on his mother's abrupt arrival. "This wasn't planned. We always plan your visits, now I'm completely unprepared."

"I know Shelly, but your little friend called. Since startin' your little pursuit of this answer to the creation of the universe, have you slept or eaten at all?" The only answer she received was a shamefaced glance from the hung head of her son. "Frankly, I'm disappointed. You of all people should know better than to deprive your body of its essentials. Aside from me draggin' you by your ear to church where they taught you that, you wrote a paper proving the effects it has on humans when you were ten for Pete's sake."

Mrs. Cooper witnessed a hard glance passing between the two friends, "Now don't go blaming your friend, this is your fault Shelly. I know you refused to go, but you have to have learned something about the creation of the universe when I forced you to attend church."

"Yes mother, I did. I learned people will believe anything they're told as long as it's written in a book and a firm leader is preaching at them to repent, and ask forgiveness for their wrongdoing."

"Come on Sheldon be nice to your mom she's just here to help." Leonard interjected.

"That's right, now go take a shower and get all cleaned up. I'm making dinner, grilled cheese with eggs and bacon." With a look of scrutiny Sheldon explained to his mother what she was doing to his research not to mention his dietary schedule.

"But mother, you know this question is important even though you publicly deny it. This is the reason for my job at the university. Even worse, it's Chinese night; we always eat Chinese on-"

"No buts just go get cleaned up." She watched her son stalk off to his room to prepare for his shower. "I know he's one of the Lord's special children, nevertheless sometimes I can't help but imagine what on earth he was thinking."

"Yeah, we usually just leave it at special." Leonard responded. _Wow that was fast, then again I guess she has had years of practice. _

After eating dinner, Sheldon was informed it was "bedtime for Shelly" and was forced to be tucked in and sleep, even though he felt he should continue working on the theory. Almost as soon as his head hit the pillow the genius was sound asleep.

When Sheldon awoke he had to admit, he did feel a lot better than before. His brain felt like it had been charged as he was sleeping and therefore had prepared him to conquer the Big Bang. The smell of waffles carried into his room, finalizing his decision to get up and try again. When he reached his whiteboard, Dr. Cooper stopped.

A feeling overtook him; he wasn't sure what it was, but information just started flowing into his brain.

"Maybe religion is the key," Sheldon softly admitted to himself

"Praise the lord miracles have happened here today!" his mother exclaimed ecstatically. "Oh, how I have prayed for this day. I wasn't sure you'd come around, but God has done crazier things."

"Hang on now, I'm not converting I'm just wondering, how did the dark matter and energy come to be. Neither can come from nothing, which means they had to come from somewhere but this phenomena cannot be explained which then makes sense to say some powerful celestial being must have had some sort of influence. Thus concluding this 'higher power' could be the God you refer to, or Allah or even all of the Roman and Greek gods.

"The only difference in our way of thinking is, I don't believe if you pray to this god he makes things happen. I believe whoever created this universe, created it perfectly. What we call karma is what they fine tuned into our system's way of existing. What you think your god does in answer to your prayers, is actually just a string of events, with extensive possibilities, which have been thought out by this immensely powerful… entity. The one flaw is that as naïve and arrogant a species as ours, was given free will.

"This string of events eventually led to our existence and the later existence of our descendants. Since there is already a 'String' theory, I will call this the Sheldon Theory. No! I could only have found this answer with the aid of my mother, as she is the one who cleared my mind and helped with this theory most. Its name will be Cooper Theory."

Hearing a great commotion Penny, had been drawn to her neighbor's apartment and Leonard out of bed. "Sheldon, what has you yelling at," Penny paused to glance at her watch, "five in the morning?!"

"I, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, have explained the creation of the universe. My mother was right all along. A higher being has to be accounted for; otherwise there is no explanation of how the dark matter and energy were created from nothing. It's one of the most basic laws: matter cannot be created or destroyed. SOMETHING CANNOT BE CREATED FROM NOTHING!"

"Sheldon, before you get ahead of yourself, you haven't proved anything yet. Remember you need evidence to back up your theory. Deducing that there must be a 'higher being' due to the lack of evidence showing the creation of dark matter isn't explaining the creation of our universe, it's merely a religious epiphany."

"Rats."

"Sorry Sheldon, on the plus side, you look and smell a lot better," Penny offered, trying to cheer him up.

"But I don't understand. I slept, and ate and even took a shower. I should be fully functioning." He then stood there contemplating. Showing respect to Sheldon, his company stayed silent.

That's when he gasped. "I see now. How could I be so silly?" Sheldon looked around at the other three occupants of the room and seeing what appeared to be, was it confusion? Or maybe the side effects he had just been troubled with. "Don't you see? My minor lapse in judgment was exactly what you are currently experiencing, your body is awake but your brain is still taking time to readjust. I can still be the one to solve the Big Bang, I'll just have to wait for the technology to gather the correct data. This venture can still be met with success. It appears you were correct Leonard; I was in need of a break. As luck would have it, I slept just long enough to suffer the consequences of three sleepless nights, but I was also able to correct my deluded thinking. For the time being this question can wait."

"Thank you, your recognition honors me." Leonard sarcastically replied.

Sheldon, not realizing the mockery in the comment, bowed. "It appears now I must find another unresolved equation to occupy my attention until halo night. Better yet, I could find a theory to _disprove_. Oh this will be entertaining for a while."

"Alright Shelly, just don't step on any expensive shoes while dancing your wild game. Since you're all up, why don't we go ahead and have breakfast." Proposed Mary.

"Good, the smell of those waffles was beginning to make my mouth water," Penny replied.

"Well, God's miracle may have to wait a while but our stomachs sure don't. Eat up guys, there's plenty for everyone."

"WAIT!" This exclamation from Sheldon granted a sigh from the three salivating over Mary's magnificent cooking. "I still have to solve this equation." _Now where did this isotope come from? Oh there you are, you little scoundrel. _He quickly jotted down a few notes and announced, "Alright I am prepared to eat. For the time being this question can wait but mark my words I will be the one to solve it."


End file.
